Apostate

Sorry I've been so quiet. I'm been moving so much, and working on so many projects, that I've just barely had time to work on the main stuff.
Anyway, I though you'd guys like this:


Thanks to Mahira for getting such a nice shot of me!

That's me dancing with some new friends at Juilana's, an Arabic Club in Chicago. The Dina workshop was an...intense weekend. I'm still trying to process through it.

More later, perhaps, but one short thing -- I need to think more about it, but I feel I'm finally (finally!) beginning to grasp why so many Arabic dancers think we Westerners are such stuffed shirts in our dancing...

Posted mainly because, well, I'm in it:

I've been meaning to post this for a few days, now -- I ran into a comment on a journal packed to the gills with cool Saudi dance videos, and informatio on where the videos come from within the country. In other words, these purport to be The Real Things.

I've not had a chance to watch more than a handful, but I confess to be enamored of what the commenter calls "Bedwani, and it is famouse in the same area [Al Harbi tribe areas along the coast]":




Speed Kills. That's why I like it so much. :)

But to be a bit more serious for a moment, this ability to just pull up videos and show all manner of dancers and dances is AMAZING. As alluded to in the Iran post, there's something powerful bout our abilities to communicate. Just as the so-called "Red Phone" (neither red, nor a phone) may have helped cool off tensions in the Cold War that might have sparked it hot, so too might these videos help people finally grasp that many of the long held stereotypes about dance in the Middle East (only done by women, hated by "Fundamentalists", etc.) aren't as true as they thought.

Will dancers today grasp the ability to see into so-called "folkloric" dance in ways that prior generations have struggled to capture and learn? I wonder, if not, how such could be achieved...

I'm surprised that so few dancers have spoken or even (from what I can tell) Twitted about the explosive and amazing events in Iran in the last few days. With images like this:



It's hard to imagine anything more powerful, more reflective of the real and complex Iran many dancers know and love.
If you're not aware of the situation, simply put, Iran has always had a veneer of democracy over the veto power of the Supreme Leader of Iran and "his crew". With the placing of our favorite whipping boy Ahmadinejad into power in a clumsy attempt to roll back a free election,the interior tensions of the country are now exposed for the world to see...and for people to bleed and die over.
Protesters rock the streets, and are beaten by police, with reports of deaths everywhere -- as Neil Gaiman (who's been very active in reporting events) put it:

If you go to the @persiankiwi page and read it through it's like an apocalyptic novel played out in tweets. Also follow him #iranelection .

At first, many of the police who got hurt were actually being saved by protesters, not willing to even sit back and allow their fellow Iranians to come to harm:



Now, the regime have brought in Arabs, Lebanese "cops" (Hezbollah? Hmmm...interesting), and the protesters aren't so fond of hired guns.

All this, the possibility of another Tiananmen Square, or even another Iranian Revolution, and it's just now seriously breaking in the news, after 2 days of relative silence in the mainstream. Twitter has been the chronicler of this revolution, and has now proven, beyond any doubt, it's place amongst the dizzying array of discussion and communications options. Twitter isn't just reporting or reflecting the news -- it is, today and yesterday,t he only place to Get The News.

And the students, who use these services like the back of their hands, are the targets for the worst of the violence. The regime knows where the backbone for the fight comes from, and want to break it early.

My prayer and hope is that the regime will know the force of Justice, and the hand of Mercy in it's application. But if I chose between Mercy for the regime, and Mercy for the people it's already killing, that's not a choice.

It's tempting to look at these events through the lens of being an American. But that 2nd picture above says it all. The Iranians aren't doing this for us. Maybe Obama's speech kicked the apple cart over, and maybe not. Either way, they work to make their own lives better. To engender, and fight for, their own freedoms, and that of their friends and lovers and fellow countrypeople. They fight to have a country that will likely be Islamic, but not ruled with an Iron Cross of "Islam".
And in doing so, these people, so well slandered and misrepresented in America, show us Americans what the values we claim to hold so high are really about, and what sacrifices people must make to gainsay them. It's sad that the 1st Leg of the Axis of Evil does best at reflecting the values of the Guiding Light of the Free World.

I posted this in my personal journal, but I also think that, as I'm growing as a dancer, and starting to crawl back from hiatus, saying this more publicly might be of use in future conversations. Apologies for the double-post, those who see it twice.

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OK. I'm going to post this, because it's come up in a couple of places, of late. And when I do, I'm going to get an array of people wanting to post all manner of comments/emails that are...flustered, to say the least.
So let me say this -- PLEASE. DON'T. I'm not posting for apologies or sympathy. I'm posting so you're aware of this, and can move to shift your awareness in the future. I'm not blaming anyone for doing this, especially given how little training we all get in this area, and I'm not angry or pissed. Moreover, those kinds of responses from folks just serve to make me much, much more unconformable than saying this does, which is part of why I've been so silent on this issue.

But Point Blank, I really don't want to hear about me being your Fantasy Sex Object. I don't need to hear another line about how male dancers are desirable, or sexy, or hawt. Not only myself, but other male dancers, often don't need our egos -- or anything else -- stroked in that fashion. And if you think that's over-reacting -- tough, because that line is way past played out, now. That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore.

I'll be real damn honest -- it was people doing that, reacting to me like I'm not even human, but rather a pin-up with extra mobility, that helped me decide to take what was supposed to be a short hiatus...and ended up Longer. If there's any blame, it's in that -- you wanted that sexy guy to keep wiggling, and in this case he wiggled right out of the dance, and into a 100 extra pounds he's currently struggling to take off.

I enjoy being admired to some extent. I'm a dancer, and I enjoy being on display! I'm human, I'm male, and I have a (huge!) ego. Oh, also: Leo, if you're into that sort of thing. Although sometimes I rant about it, it's true that I enjoy the admiration. It's true that I even like it when someone chats me up because they like my dancing (although that comes with it's own issues...). But "chat me up" should not involve the Sledgehammer of Libido!

Because admiration can be taken too far. I can tell you stories about dirty thongs in bad places, and sexual harassment at SCA events, and all manner of stupid and disturbing events. I can tell you how it feels, the gut-clenching anxiety of hearing yet another reference to me that sounds like something you'd say about a stripper. And I kept my public mouth shut, for a variety of reasons. But it did affect me, and does to this day. And yes, it makes me that much more invested in seeing that ALL forms of harassment in the groups I'm involved with go away.

Oh, and to forestall another round of questions (because, really, folks, this is common sense!) -- if you have to ask if Saying X is OK, the answer is "were the genders reversed, would it be OK to say it to a Lady? Or would it be the first step towards Sexual Harassment?"

I'm not asking you to not admire me, if I deserve it. That would be silly! I'm asking you to think before you speak to me, or where I can hear. Just. Think.

And, again -- please don't be posting all manner of apologies or frustrations or even "I'm angry for you." Just...work on it, and if someone else does it to anyone, male or female, where you can speak to 'em on it, please do so.

Thanks.